


Questions and Answers

by ashurbadaktu



Series: Chameleons and Circuits [5]
Category: Doctor Who, X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-16
Updated: 2011-08-16
Packaged: 2017-10-22 16:24:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/240053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashurbadaktu/pseuds/ashurbadaktu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An innocent question leads to an unfortunate realization and some uncomfortable discussion between man and TARDIS.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Questions and Answers

Erik closed the door behind her, glad that River was gone as her perfume had been starting to give him a headache. His steps were slow, though, deliberate.

 _So._

They hadn't talked much for the last few days. Part of that had to do with all the information that Erik had been absorbing, all the lessons he'd had to learn. The other part had to do with a question River had asked in the midst of her teaching.

"Now that you can fly this-- your friend here, where do you want to go?"

Where did he want to go? What a question for Erik Lehnsherr.

Years ago, what felt like a lifetime ago, his friend had taken him because he thought Erik didn't know where he wanted to go.

It wasn't true, though. It hadn't ever been true; it was just that before, he hadn't known that he _could_ go certain places. Like Düsseldorf before the war. Like the front gates of Auschwitz, 1944.

And now he could. And his friend knew that. After all, their bond hadn't just been a way for the two of them to talk. It was deeper than that, the turbulance in his thoughts as plain as day to the strange being that had been his only friend since Schmidt and the camps. And yet--

"Why?" he asked, aloud. He wasn't sure why he spoke; maybe it was just because he'd been speaking more with River around. Maybe it wasn't.

 _I could answer, but perhaps you should specify a little more, Erik._

The grating beneath his feet trembled. His fingers clenched.

"Why didn't you ever take me back?"

 _Back where?_

Erik growled, angry, genuinely angry at his friend for the first time that he could remember. Was his friend playing games with him? Did he, somehow, not understand? How couldn't he understand!?

"Back to stop things! Back to before everything went wrong! Why didn't you let me save myself that pain, save my parents _lives_? Hell, save _everyone_!?"

His uncles, his grandparents, his cousins, their rabbi. The butcher who'd always saved the good cuts for his mother since they'd been children together. The tailor who used the slightly better cloth, the one his father had said they couldn't afford, since Erik was so good at being still and listening to directions. His friends, his neighbors, _his people_.

The TARDIS was quiet, which Erik knew well enough meant that he was unsure of what to say. It had happened a few times in their time together, not nearly as often as _other_ people not knowing what to say to the strange young man who'd sent a cyberman flying through the air or crushed their gun with a thought. But the quiet made him anxious, because his friend, this TARDIS, was all that he had. Everything he cared about. The only thing that was _his_.

Now, anyway.

"No answer?"

 _A hard answer. And one I'm afraid you won't like. I know I don't like it._

"Are you really afraid? What would you even be afraid of?"

The answer was immediate.

 _Hurting you, Erik. Losing you._

The first answer made something in his chest ache. The second felt like a knife to the gut.

"Tell me." And then, quietly. "Please."

The pause was shorter this time.

 _There are some things that can be changed, and some that cannot. What happened to your people is, unfortunately, not one of those things that can be changed. To do so would endanger not just them, but all of space and time itself. I know these spots, these unchanging nodes of history. I can feel them in the heart of Time itself._

But that still left--

"My family? _Me?_ "

 _It would create a paradox, a similar danger. How could you find me if you'd never been to the camps, never suffered under Schmidt, never run? It wouldn't have happened, and so by stopping it happening, the 'you' that would have done it would cease to exist._

Erik nodded, something very like a weight on his back. He leaned over, put his hands to the console, felt the comfort of the metal as if there were other hands wrapping around his own, holding him. And yet-

"Similar... but not the same."

 _No._

He pulled his hands away from the console, stared up at the confines of the TARDIS room.

"Tell me! What is the danger?"

He'd never heard his friend's voice so small.

 _There is a chance, a very small chance, that it could work, if we were careful. But there is a much greater chance, a_ much _greater chance, that it would end with 'you' dead, gone. Or worse yet, never having been at all._

"And you never thought to ask me?!"

 _It's a very small chance, Erik. So small... would you risk everything,_ everything _on the flip of a single coin? No, that wouldn't even be right..._

But it _was_ right. And Erik had a coin, forever and always in his pocket, _the_ coin that he'd saved since that day in Herr Doktor's office. A moment later, it perched on his thumb ominously; after all, it had always guided his destiny, in one way or another. Why not now?

"I can pilot you now, my friend. I can send you where _I_ think we should go."

He'd never heard his friend sound so panicked. _Please, Erik. Think of everything we've seen, everything we've done, all the people we've helped!_

"But let's do as you say. Let us risk everything"

 _Look to the future, Erik. I beg you, please, there's so much future ahead of us--_

"On the single flip"

 _**Erik**   
_

"Of a coin."

There were no more words from his friend as the coin tumbled through the air, just a feeling of desperation, a wash of fear and sadness that needed no translation. And underneath it all, the source of it all, was something warm and familiar and perfect.

That was why he knew what the coin would say before it touched his hand, because he'd made his decision before the metal slapped lightly on his palm. He closed his fingers around it, closed his eyes. He didn't need to look. He knew what his father would say, what his mother would want. He knew what he wanted... but he also knew what was _needed_.

 _You'll help me find him._ He thought fiercely. _Help me avenge them. Make him pay for what he took from me._

Warmth flooded around him.

 _Of course, Erik. Everything that I am... it's you and I and the Universe, Erik. Always._

 _And we'll do what we can to make sure no one has to live through things like I lived through._ His mental voice was firm.

 _We always have._

Erik stuck the coin back into his pocket, his other hand resting on the console's surface again; it was a shake as much as it was a hand holding his as much as it was anything else. Once the coin was safely tucked away, he reached out for the first of the many leavers he'd have to adjust for their journey.

"Then first stop, Paris."


End file.
